how to write through heartbreak

how your emotions can be a conduit to your heart's creativity.

When we write, there is so much noise to fight through. Most days, we are relatively stable emotionally and thus too logical. Enter stage right, the comparison, the perfectionism — whatever your drug of choice is, so to speak. It weaves into our thoughts so gently that it sounds like it’s trying to help us. It is not.

Have you ever heard of the phrase: write when you are emotional, edit when you are not?

Some of my most natural writing was written when my emotions were overwhelming, when my heart was breaking or tears slid down my face. There is no room for doubt. No space to fill with comparison. There is only your overwhelming feelings and a conduit to feel them — your creativity.

You do not think too deeply about anything, you simply allow yourself to write. Maybe the writing is not my “best”, but it is my most natural, most vulnerable, and most impactful work. The beauty lies in the imperfection, I think. In the way you can feel how I feel in that moment.

Not only does this allow for natural writing and trust in yourself, but it helps to process how you are feeling. Heartbreak covers such a variety of emotions. Love, grief, guilt, hope, loss. It can apply to so many situations — relationship, family, a situation, a person. Our hearts are so fragile and so fierce. They love infuriatingly deeply, and yet they feel so horribly much.

It is natural to feel it, even when we don’t want to. It is natural to expunge it, lift the weight off our shoulders. And it is natural for all humans to heal through creativity.

So, how to write through heartbreak?

Allow yourself to give in, and allow it to find it’s way out.

Here are some examples of mine

Quite frankly, I still can’t believe I posted this one:

How does one lose their identity? It’s quite simple, really.

Talk about dramatic. But I was a sobbing mess as I wrote this. It came from my heart. I just reread it, and I can see the grammar mistakes, the overwhelming questioning, the raw agony of my overthinking and crushing reality. It is a direct view into my thoughts and heart at that time. It is distressingly vulnerable.

Or what about this one:

its been a year and i'm not "successful"

I value myself in my success. I admitted that my brain didn’t identify me as successful. Do you understand how hard that was? Do you see how I am learning to reshape my mindset about perfectionism and success? I admitted to something my brain perceived as something I had failed at. And guess what? Nothing imploded. In fact, this is my most successful post (ugh I can’t believe I just wrote that).

I bring you these examples for a few reasons.

You are not alone. Heartbreak, emotions, and anxiety make us feel as if we’re the only person in the universe. That no one has felt as deeply as we do. That no one has been betrayed like we have. But if you are brave enough to share your vulnerability, you will find others like you. You will find the elusive thing called peace by writing through your emotions.

Heartbreak comes in many forms. The classic is, of course, a romantic break up. But here you can see my heartbreak was from admitting my mindset was wrong, admitting I “failed”, popping a dream bubble when I realized it wasn’t real, and deciding whether I love something enough to let it go.

Creativity is your conduit. I write. You may like to write poems, paint, draw, color, take photos. You may bake food or dance to music in your living room. You may sing or play the piano. There is no wrong answer, but I do implore you to use it. You might find something you like within.

But overall, you will find peace on the other side.

That’s all for today. Much love

Izzy