56. to be loved is to

a reflection on love at the end of the year, some of the most popular books of the year, and a book recommendation!

My mom got me an ornament for Christmas. It is a pinecone made of an old book. The pages are from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.

To be love is to be known.

I can't get this gift out of my head. A complete surprise to me, an ornament made of an old book was enough to hit me in the heart. But to learn it is from Emily Dickinson's poems? You all know by now she is one of my favorites.

This gift is such a reflection of my heart that I was struck by how purely and completely I am loved. I am loved in a way that takes care to listen to me, read my articles here, and remember. I am unbelievably blessed to be someone who is loved in this way.

My friend has never failed to wish me a happy holiday in the last five years. I spent 58 days straight with another friend backpacking. The bittersweet feeling of seeing your friend move in with their person, nostalgia for the old days and love for the present. Simultaneously quoting Harry Potter and recognizing a part of yourself in someone. Sitting on the floor of your kitchen at midnight. Always having a sweet treat while watching TV at night.

To be loved is to be seen.

Check ins with friends to ask about feelings I wrote in my Instagram caption but hadn’t spoken of in person. Discussing what we talk about in therapy with each other. Always missing your friends. Coffee shop work meet ups that don’t feel like work. Last minute trips, old friends that feel like new, love love love.

Sometimes I sit on my bedroom floor, look at myself in the mirror, and take myself in. I am not “the nice one” in my family, and I know that. Sometimes my wit gets the better of me, and I turn snarky. The moment someone is rude to a sibling, I go red. Sometimes when I struggle to voice my thoughts, I stutter. Sometimes my curious nature is exhausting, and why can’t I just let it be?

To be loved is to accept all sides of yourself.

My self imposed deadlines make me panic for no reason. My lists keep my life in order while I constantly ask myself if this is just a list or a compulsion. My imagination is my greatest gift until it creates horrific scenarios where I lose the ones I love.

You cannot have the good without the bad, and who says it is bad anyway? Those scenarios are created because I love others so deeply I can’t imagine losing them. My lists have made me successful in life, and I can recognize the feeling I get when it is a compulsion. I think my wit and dry humor are funny, and my loved ones know it is not me being mean.

I know what made me into the not nice one, and I am coming to terms with that.

This is all to say that I was struck today by the love I have surrounding me. And for this moment, it is not just enough; it is everything.

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Note, the links to books are affiliate links! A lot of paperback releases this week - I assume to fill in the holidays.

1. Dating and Dragons by Kristy Boyce (Romance): Dec 31, 2024

2. You Dreamed of Empires by Álvaro Enrigue (Historical): Dec 31, 2024

Books I’ve compiled from a variety of lists such as the New York Times, Indiebound, and the B&N Top 100, but also through what I’ve seen online. I’ve decided to simply add the books I haven’t before, since I’ve caught up to the new additions. If you’re curious, last week’s post can be found here.

All of the books on the bestseller lists this week are repeats, probably due to the fact that many were purchased as Christmas gifts! So, I will include a few of my own favorites and the ones I’ve seen consistently this entire year.

1. James by Percival Everett (Historical)

2. The Women by Kristin Hannah (Historical Fiction)

3. The Housemaid by Freida McFadden (Thriller)

4. The God of the Woods by Liz Moore (Thriller)

5. Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (Life Sciences)

Just a reminder to comment any recommendations or email me: thesundayreads@gmail.com!

1. The Otherwhere Post by Emily J Taylor

   1. This releases in February and was absolutely phenomenal! Parallel worlds, magical writing (literally and figuratively), and a heroine who we can root for. Definitely a lovely winter read to pick up in February.

That’s all for today. Much love.

Izzy