27. On finding the words

finding my water droplets & random musings, a truly interesting historical fiction release, and many new bestsellers.

This is my third time trying to write this week's newsletter. I know the thoughts I want to say, but I can’t get them out well into words. I’m writing this version in my notes app because my laptop decided it doesn’t like to use SubStack and overheats. It feels fitting, to be honest. 

I wanted to write about my writing progress. Or the lack of process, technically. Even here, I feel like I’m trying to pull a single water droplet from a puddle, an ocean. And it slips out of my fingers every single time. Every word that comes out makes me compare myself to others and doesn’t say what I want to convey.

And it makes me angry with myself. I write on here because I love it. I love talking about books and meeting new people. I started my Instagram to challenge myself, and I have been fiercely rewarded. I wrote because I wanted to. I write because I like to challenge my imagination and ask the question why?

It might be a bit morbid, but when I get into ruts like this, I try to recalibrate my thoughts. If I died tomorrow, what would I regret? What would I not?

I would regret thinking like this. I would not regret writing, even if it goes nowhere. 

I am in the second week of my writing course. The first week reinvigorated me. After trying and failing to go into edits on my first draft, I decided to wait until my writing course was over. I was overwhelmed with everything I needed to fix, and this course is helping me see things more clearly. I’m still excited to dive deeper into my character arcs and world-building.

The second week got a little stressful. It was about magic systems. My magic system works in my head, but I haven’t been able to translate that into paper yet. This is going to be hard for me to lock down. I feel like I have a starting point, but the tidal wave of work ahead of me shows that even though I finished a first draft, it takes years for a book to be ready to publish. 

I’m a pantser. I write with literally no outline. I tried to do that once, and I stopped not even 5,000 words in. Part of my imagination is that sometimes I don’t know how a story will go. I know my people and have an idea of how it will end, but I enjoy exploring everything in between while I write. It’s fun for me. 

But now, I’m regretting it. When I get excited about something, I dive headfirst. A patient person, I am not. The thought of outlining before getting to write does not sit well. What I’m learning is that perhaps I need to do a mix. 

Through the writing course, I learned that yes, I do need to write down a vague outline. Yes, I do need to write down everything about my characters and know them as if they are a version of myself. Yes, I do need to think through my world-building. What is the atmosphere? How does the magic work? What is the hierarchy? What period are we in? Yes, I need to lay out at least the bones of my magic system. 

To be frank, to this day, I have yet to name the country my main characters live in. I’m embarrassed. 

I think it’s good that my favorite part of this is the writing. It electrifies me. You know when your character does something that you didn’t plan, but it’s perfect, and it’s going to line up perfectly, and oh my gosh, this is going to be amazing; I love that feeling. What I need to do is learn to love the rest.

There is love in the preparations. In carefully cultivating a world I literally imagined in my brain. There is love in each character because they have a slice of my heart, a gifted sliver of my soul. They are each of me and their own.

There is love in the writing; in finding where I’m going, in challenging myself to think differently, in exploring the depths of my brain and soul, and in seeing the love that comes pouring out. 

And there is love in the editing. In asking why, in diving deeper, and in pushing yourself farther than you think you could go.

There is love in sending the writing into the world. In sharing a reflection of your soul with others, in being open and willing to constructive criticism because they’re helping you become better, not criticizing you. In knowing, accepting, and wanting people to dislike it, to challenge it. Because it will make me a better person. 

I think I found my water droplets. And I think this is a piece of my thoughts as I truly realize that love is at the center of everything important and worthwhile, as corny as it is. 

So what have I learned? That when I feel in a rut to go jot it out on my notes app, that breaks are healthy, to not put pressure on myself, and to seek inspiration in the world.

---

A snippet of the many books releasing this week!

1. Leather & Lark (The Ruinous Love Trilogy #2) by Brynne Weaver (Dark Romance, check TW): June 4, 2024

2. Swift River by Essie J Chambers (Historical Fiction): June 4, 2024

3. The Wren in the Holly Library (The Oak and Holly Cycle #1) by KA Linde (Fantasy): June 4, 2024

4. The Seaside Sisters by Pamela M Kelley (Romance): June 4, 2024

5. Summer Romance by Annabel Monaghan (Romance): June 4, 2024

6. Murder at the Dinner Party (Cleopatra Fox #8) by CJ Archer (Mystery, Historical Fiction): June 4, 2024

Books I’ve compiled from mainly the NYT Bestsellers List, but also the B&N Top 100 and Amazon Bestsellers in no particular order. I’ve decided to simply add the books I haven’t before, since I’ve caught up to the new additions. If you’re curious, last week’s post can be found here.

1. You Like It Darker by Stephen King (Horror)

2. Mind Games by Nora Roberts (Romance, Suspense)

3. One Perfect Couple by Ruth Ware (Thriller)

4. Tom Clancy: Act of Defiance by Brian Andrews and Jeffrey Wilson (Thriller)

5. Heavenbreaker by Sara Wolf (Fantasy)

6. Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan (Romance)

Hi! Not going to do an author of the week this week as I am traveling. I don’t want to not put 100% of my effort into something. Enjoy your weekend!

Just a reminder to submit any books you think others will love on the R&R page or to my email: thesundayreads@gmail.com!

1. My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman

   1. By now, everyone knows how much I love Fredrik Backman. My grandmother got me this book for Christmas. I finally finished it the other day, and I was crying (what else is new). A beautiful novel about loss and childhood, imagination and reality, and learning there is always more to someone than you think. You can find my review here.

That’s all for today. Much love

Izzy